Parenting is always evolving, and today’s parents often find themselves navigating not only sleepless nights and toddler tantrums but also well-meaning advice from older generations. We asked Holy Name pediatrician Dr. Janet Lazieh about some of the most common differences she sees between today’s parents and grandparents and how families can navigate different approaches to baby care.
Safe Sleep for Newborns
One of the most common areas of disagreement is safe sleep.
Rule for today’s parents: Babies should be placed on their backs to sleep on a firm mattress. There should be no blankets, pillows, or bumpers, and the baby should have their own sleep space.
Grandparents may say: “We used blankets,” or “you slept on your tummy,” or “the baby will be more comfortable in our bed.”
The reason: “Safe sleep guidelines have changed over time as we’ve learned more,” says Dr. Lazieh. “We recommend following current safe sleep practices, even if they’re different from what was done years ago. The new recommendations are based on strong evidence and are the safest approach for your baby.”
A helpful way for parents to respond: “We’re following the current recommendations. Even though they’re different from before, this is the safest way.”Hygiene & Visitors Around a Newborn
The arrival of a newborn brings excitement and sometimes tension.
Rule for today’s parents: Wash hands before holding the baby and limit visitors. Avoid kissing the baby’s face and to stay away when sick.
Grandparents may say: “But we’re family — that shouldn’t apply to us.”
The reason: Dr. Lazieh emphasizes that caution is medical, not personal. Babies’ developing immune systems make them especially prone to picking up germs.
A helpful way for parents to respond: “We’re being extra careful early on. It’s not personal. Febrile illnesses in newborns can sometimes require hospitalization, and we’re trying to avoid that. It’s a better-safe-than-sorry approach.”
Too Many Treats
Grandparents often express love through food — especially sweets. Dr. Lazieh shares a balanced approach.
“Sweets are okay sometimes, just not right before meals or bedtime. They’re best used occasionally as a treat or positive reinforcement for good behavior.” She also recommends encouraging water over sugary drinks whenever possible. The goal isn’t eliminating joy; it’s creating healthy patterns that last.
A helpful way for parents to respond: “Treats are okay sometimes, but we try to keep them occasional.”
Corporal Punishment: A Major Generational Divide
This topic often brings strong feelings on both sides.
Rule for today’s parents: There is greater awareness of research linking corporal punishment to increased aggression, plus concerns about anxiety and fear-based compliance. Parents today should focus on preserving parent–child trust.
Grandparents may say: “It worked on you.” Spanking was normalized in their generation and was viewed as discipline.
The reason: “Major organizations — including the American Academy of Pediatrics, the World Health Organization, and the CDC — recommend against corporal punishment,” says Dr. Lazieh. “Studies consistently show no long-term improvement in behavior and a higher risk of aggression, defiance, and mental health challenges.”
A helpful way for parents to respond: “Our discipline strategies focus more on teaching consistency and emotional regulation rather than fear-based responses.”
Health Decisions & Medical Guidance
Health decisions can also be a point of tension.
Rule for today’s parents: Follow vaccination schedules, embrace evidence-based medicine, and have a greater awareness of mental health.
Grandparents may: Suggest home remedies or be skeptical of newer recommendations.
Dr. Lazieh encourages collaboration. “Some proven, safe home remedies can be acceptable — with pediatrician supervision. When possible, counseling about vaccinations, medications, and children’s health recommendations with both parents and grandparents present can improve communication and clear the air about differences.”Her advice: “Bring everyone to the table. Open discussion with a trusted pediatrician can bridge generational gaps and ensure the child’s health remains the shared priority.”
The Bottom Line
Every generation parents with love, but today’s guidance is shaped by decades of evolving research. As Dr. Lazieh reminds families, “Parenting recommendations change because science advances. At the center of every discussion should be one shared goal: keeping children safe, healthy, and thriving.”
With empathy, clear communication, and evidence-based guidance, families can turn generational differences into opportunities for understanding — and stronger relationships.
Starting Your Journey at Holy Name
For families at the very beginning of their parenting journey, Holy Name's BirthPlace offers comprehensive maternity services designed to support mothers and newborns with the highest level of care. From labor and delivery through those first precious days, our experienced team is with you every step of the way. Expectant parents can also take advantage of educational classes to help prepare for birth, newborn care, and beyond, so you feel confident and ready before your baby even arrives. And once your little one is here, Holy Name's outstanding team of pediatricians is ready to partner with your family for every milestone, wellness visit, and in-between moment — all backed by a 24-hour emergency care room should you ever need it.
To make an appointment with Dr. Lazieh please call (201) 592-9210.